I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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