I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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