They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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