I bet he comes in French.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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