What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
