Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
