just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
