So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
