Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
