we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
