I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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