I just saw a hot homeless man
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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