it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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