We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
