how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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