Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm just crazy horny about you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
