Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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