shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
