Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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