Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize