Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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