All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Watching her eat just hurts me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
