it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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