There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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