You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
