My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
