Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize