I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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