you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
