he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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