Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize