Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
