I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
