and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
