Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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