We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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