Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
