Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize