They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
