I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize