i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize