Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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