Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
do nipples grow back?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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