Someone shit on the floor
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
3pm strippers are depressing
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
