I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
