I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
