i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
