Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
