dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
