Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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