Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
