im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
