Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
