but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
