Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
