The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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