you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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