people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
