I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
