It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
