Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
birth control should be required to get into college
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
