you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Drake has all the answers
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
