we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
