So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
