i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
