so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
